Being Old and Loose from the eyes of a pregnant 14 year old

We will just have to move past the fact that there are 14 year olds that are pregnant. Unfortunate and troubling but we could spend eternities discussing the issues surrounding young moms and that would be neither amusing or entertaining. But the 14 year old I have in mind is.

So a sweet, sassy thing comes to us complaining of bleeding from "down there" and she scared, rightfully so. Good girl for knowing to come in and be checked out. She however is not pleased when she discovers how we check out bleeding from "down there". The dreaded speculum. Shiny metal cold duck bill. I hate the speculum. Miss thing is fairly insistent that an ultrasound is the better idea, a much better idea. After much discussion with both me and the doc d'jour, who happens to be a reasonable cute early thirties mother of twins, decide that the speculum is in fact the only way to know whats going on "down there". She cries, she kicks her feet, she then turns to reasoning and pleading. It hurts and it's cold and it has to open... I tell her that I know she doesn't want or like the speculum and that she is not alone. That we are all women and we totally understand. Trying to use casual cool language for truth be told I am a few years older than her, have a daughter older than her, yet we digress. She however explains to me and the doc that is is different for her. She says "you all are older ya know. It's different when your old. She's less experienced down there". Hmmm. She continues, I like to think blindly, she really has no where good to go with this. "Ya know when your older, your like looser down there...." So it has been called out. We are loose old women. This is a bad night night for me. The doctor gently reminds her that she is one holding the speculum...hah, we may be loose and old dammit but we've got the SPECULUM!! Exam over, tears dried she leaves. Her a baby still and her baby growing, moving, doing fine. I have a feeling she'll be a frequent flyer. A term used for those who come to see us often...Odly enough and despite the fact that she called me both old and loose, I found her extremely likable, funny and entertaining.